The beat goes on, the beat goes on Drums keep pounding a rhythm to the brain La de da de de, la de da de da......Thank you Sonny and Cher

The morning of the fire we stood and watched it burn. It was hypnotic. We were caught and could not look away. I remember standing on the sidewalk across the street with Kacy while I could hear Kody in the backyard screaming that they were going to die. I remember hearing Loren screaming for Annabel. We thought the dogs were trapped in the house. I remember Scotty yelling at Loren to break his bedroom window. We thought the dogs were in the house. Scotty was pacing back and forth like a caged lion trying to figure out how to get them out.

George from next door was tearing fence boards off try to get them out. Only it was in an area that didn’t reach the backyard and it just wasn’t safe where he was. It was right off of the garage. I was yelling at Scotty to go into our neighbor Linda’s yard and break down their fence to get them out. He bruised his hand doing it. All this seemed to take hours to me. They got out and Loren had the dogs. Kody ran across the street and so did Loren and Scotty. My mom was slowly walking over. Loren ran back across the street and dragged her along. Twice that morning he took care of her.

About that time the first police officer showed up. As I said it felt like this was hours but it was mere moments. We stood watching black smoke pouring out of the house. I thought about the stupidest things while we were standing there. I worried about calling my niece and nephew because I didn’t want to wake them up. “Um hello our house is burning down. I just thought I would let you know.” Yeah not quite sure how the conversation went for sure. I don’t really remember. All I know is that I made the calls and they both were worried that there was a health issue. Thankfully it wasn’t that.

The first police officer that arrived put my mom in the backseat of his patrol car so that she was warm. He had the car running with the heater going full blast. He then had the unenviable job of having to evacuate the neighbors. Three houses each way. When he went around to street behind us to evacuate the ones behind us he went to Loren’s and my mom’s best friend’s house. She immediately wanted my mom to come over so she could take care of her. My mom wouldn’t leave.

It is unreal to sit here and relive this. I still want to cry over it, and I still won’t allow myself to cry. At least not around anyone. My nightmares are the things of horror stories. I close my eyes and I see things that are not real. Things that did not happen. The human mind is an interesting thing. It can show us things that scare us and it can show us things that amaze us. The dreams aren’t as long anymore and they are no longer all night. I think that being able to “talk” or write about it helps a lot. Thanks for being there for me, it mean so much more than you might ever know.