Sunday, April 28, 2013


I used to love lists. Lists were fun things, there were lists for shopping, lists for gifts, lists for parties, lists for vacations, I could go on and on. But now my lists are things of torture, they are the things of nightmares. I have spent the better part of my day finishing out the lists of our lives. With major help from my daughters, Kacy researching for 7 hours today on how much the things of our lives cost, Kody adding it all up on the calculator.

What was a hard day had amazing highlights. My mom's best friend and Loren's best friend were here today. Belen brought cookies and cake. Such a nice treat because mean, mean Michele was not going anywhere today. It was also brightened by a laugh I shared with the girls. This is how pathetic we are for a laugh; after getting frustrated from sitting there for so long I stated that I was going to run away from home. Kody started giggling, then it hit me. I said and I don't have a home to run away from. The three of us had a good laugh. Probably the best since the fire. It felt so good to just laugh.

I know this is out of order and I mean to finish it up but lately life has been too crazy. I admire anyone that has ever dealt with all this BS.

This was found the other day in a drawer of my moms that Scotty recovered. To see this picture of my dad was great for me. Also in this drawer she found other treasures, most importantly her family bibles. She has stored them in ziploc bags so there was no damage to them. There is brightness in everything.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

and the flames burned on.....

We finally sent my mom over to her best friend’s house. The girls went with her too. Belen is earth mother. She took over taking care of the three of them. She cooked them breakfast and made sure that they were fed. Then she put the girls to work, she sent them with food for Loren because as she put it “I know teenage boys and they are always hungry.”

A neighbor from down the street brought breakfast for at least six people from McDonalds with coffee and orange juice. The kindness of strangers, neighbors and friends 2D and 3D. This is going to be a trend. We ate as we could, after Scotty was able to go in the house to get keys he was able to move my van out of the drive way. My poor melted van. Thankfully we have good car insurance and it was in the shop the same day and we were in a rental car.

The Red Cross had also been there to help. Wonderfully nice ladies. They gave me a Beanie Baby and I got tears in my eyes. They also gave each of the girls one. They arranged for the 6 of us and the 2 dogs to stay the night at Motel 6. We had two rooms. In the room Scotty, Loren and I were to be in had the two dog crates and two bicycles. Sadly those and Scotty’s other bikes were total losses. Just more loss to face.

What amazed me was while the fire was still burning the “vultures” started showing up. By that I mean the contractors, the people that facilitate everything for you for just 20% of the insurance money that is. The longer this all went on the angrier I became. I felt that they were awful, that to try and get us to do business with them before the fire was even out.

Watching the firefighters push out my 1965 Mustang nearly broke my heart. Loren wanted to restore it with his dad, he was convinced I would give it him. Who knows? Maybe I would have, but that is no longer a point. It would cost too much to restore it. I remember being there the day my dad signed the final papers and we drove it off of the Ford lot all those many years ago. Some of my fondest memories are in that car. My mom, dad, sister and I would pile into “Shasta”. Then the adventure would begin. Maybe we would go on the back roads around Vacaville or out to Grizzly Island or head to the Delta to visit those roads. The windows open and the radio blaring. Good bye “Shasta”.

The fire fighters.......

The fire fighters seemed forever to get there. I know that time didn’t move that slowly but it sure felt like it did. Not long after the 4 fire trucks showed up so did the news crews. Now I never watch the news stories on the victims because I feel that it is invasive. I try to stick to the high road. We had every Sacramento news channel there, and there I stood in my dorm shirt nightgown. No pants…..I was a sight to see. No glasses, no pants and a night shirt that barely touches my knees. Do I want to be interviewed? No not really but I will talk to you in case one of my loved ones sees this on the news, but don’t film me. Well there was more than one news channel that showed my fat ass. Not a happy camper.
Here you are a helpless victim to a fire, and you are watching your home burn down. It is a helpless feeling, it was like being alone in a crowd. I waffled on whether to call my niece and nephew. I didn’t want to call them in the middle of the night. What a rude awakening. But I did call them they needed to know. The poor things the first thing they thought was that there was something wrong with my mom. Thank God it wasn’t that. They both got out of bed and came straight over to take care of us. Ryan and his wife Celina both stayed as long as they could. Ryan went into the house with Scotty more than once to get things out like my glasses and two Mickey Mouse dolls. One that I had intended to give to my great nephew Jason and the other that Loren had bought for me in November.
Stephanie stayed all day. I also need to mention that Stephanie’s best friend Valerie was there too as long as she could be. She took care of us. She went to Walmart and got me pants. Thank you Stephanie!! She also got us the things you think about in time of stress hairbrush, deodorant, tooth brushes and tooth paste. And flip flops! Although my feet had blisters from them they were a blessing. I cannot begin to tell you how amazing Stephanie was to us on Tuesday. I never would have held it together as long as I did without her there. 

Friday, April 19, 2013

What makes a hero?

Recently in my life I have been moved to ask the question “what is a hero?” On April 9, 2013 at about 4:15 AM our 20 year old daughter came upstairs to wake us up. Her 16 year old brother had been falling asleep when he thought he smelled smoke. He went into his bathroom which is connected to our garage and it was hot. He tells me that something told him what to do. He thinks that his deceased grandfather helped him. He ran to the kitchen to get the fire extinguisher and yelled at everyone downstairs to wake up.
Loren tried to put out the fire but he was unable to. But, in trying to put the fire out he bought us time. Kacy his 20 year old sister was panicking as she woke us up. Her dad yelled at her to call 911 and we proceeded to get downstairs after her. As I went downstairs our stairs were filled with white smoke. My husband Scott yelled at me to get out the door. I flew out the door thinking that my mom and both of my daughters were out. As Scotty followed me out the door the fire turned and became a fireball that went up the stairs.

Scotty yelled to Loren who had come back in to get his 76 year old grandma, his 18 year old sister and our two dogs. He yelled to him to go out the backdoor. Loren already knew what to do. He corralled them out the backdoor. By then Kacy and I were across the street watching our house in flames. I could hear her younger sister Kody yelling that they were going to die. I have never felt so helpless in my life. Scotty was on the sidewalk trying to figure out how to get them out of the yard. Common sense is the first thing to go unless you are a 16 year old boy.

I yelled at Scotty to go in the neighbor’s yard and breakdown the fence. He did, soon they were running out and across the street except my mom. Loren once again stepped up to bat because no one else could. He got my mom across the street. The police had arrived at this point. The first officer on the scene was quick to get my mom in the back of his car. He had the car running and the heater blowing.

Now, I knew to grab my cell phone after all I would need it. I didn't grab shoes, I didn't grab pants, I didn't grab my glasses, oh no, I grabbed my TV remote. Now mind you I will never use that TV again but oh boy I sure have that remote. Soon the fire fighters arrived……..That I will add to later.

But, what I have written today asked that question. What is it that makes a hero? Is it part of your DNA? Is it being helped what to do by your deceased grandpa? I don’t know. What I do know is that my 16 year old son saved the lives of 5 other people and two dogs. I do know that he went back into a fire he was already outside from to bring out loved ones. Most assuredly we would have all died because the fire fighters were not there early enough. He is my hero.