Christmas Eve will find you Where the love light gleams I'll be home for Christmas If only in my dreams.....Thank you Josh Groban

What are the things that send your emotions yo-yoing? With me it can be a commercial and it will send me into a torrential amount of tears or laughing uncontrollably. My emotions are heightened I am sure partly due to everything that has been going on in life. I expect that it will get better with time.

Today we met with Kenny, our contractor and his superintendent Jim. This was great because well we all know what Monday is!! Monday is the beginning of deconstruction. It’s coming down baby!! We are on our way. We might actually be back home for Christmas!! To me that would be the best gift we could all receive.

I don’t know if I mentioned but my mother’s piano that was made in 1906 is a complete loss. They had thought that they could get it out but it wasn’t possible. She has had a couple of rough days because of it. She as cried a couple of times today and I know that is a huge part of it. I understand completely it is all part of the same thing I have been going through. The poor thing. I really feel for her. It will be okay. I have plans for her this weekend. She’ll be okay. We all will be.

Today while going through some things that Scotty brought out of the house that smelled of smoke but miraculously survived I found something I considered a real treasure. I found a postcard from California Adventure. It is an older one. I am not sure when I bought it or why I bought it in the first place but there it was. I am sure it was meant to be mailed but it didn’t happen. I am sure that I had the best intentions in the first place but you know what? I am glad I didn’t mail it. It made me smile. That area has been changed too so that makes it even a little more fun for me. J

Hey! there, Hi! there, Ho! there You're as welcome as can be M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E......Thank you Mickey!!

“M” is a pretty great letter. Right now I will say that it is my favorite letter. Of course that will change as sure as the wind will change directions. Why is “M” your favorite letter Michele you may ask? Well, friends let me tell you……”M” is the first letter in Monday and the third letter in demolition. Can you guess? Monday is Demolition Day!!! Yes, friends they are starting to clear the place out and start tearing it down!!!

What does that mean you ask? That means that reconstruction can begin so that we can go home!!! Yes, my favorite letter “M” is the third letter in home. It is everywhere. It called today when I called the insurance adjuster I told him that everyone was finished going through the house and that we just wanted to get it torn down. It needs to be gone.

Am I sad? It may sound funny but yes in a way I am sad. This is the end of an era. Am I happy? Oh hell yes!!! This is the beginning of a new era. Now it is time to start thinking about new possibilities. And one of the most important things included into our home construction is an alarm system. Are you all noticing all of the “M”s appearing in my words? I sure “M”!! J

I was told by Ken our contractor that maybe for about a week I will want to keep my mom away from the house. Things like her beloved piano that was built in 1906 will be in the trash. My 1965 Mustang is being taken away. I will be kind of glad to see it go even though I want to cry about it right now. I learned to drive in that car, I used to cruise in that car. We had many a good adventure until I bought my first car. Are you ready for it? No “M”s involved here, it was a 1971 Super Beetle. What can I say? It was cheap and in my budget. I paid $900 and had more than my money worth of fun out of it.

Of course there have been a lot of cars that have been fun in my life. Like my dad had this amazing Mazda RX-7. It had a sunroof on it. I can remember many a sunburn Dina and I go riding around to one adventure or another in it. It went to Lake Tahoe and many other places. Great memories! Yes, I have other “M”s in my life like my melted Mickey Mouse antennae ball. I am fond of my “M”s.

I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life Oh just to be with you is having the best day of my life....Thank you Dido

Memorial Day. Today is a day to say thank you. To remember those that have given their all so that we can have our freedoms. I have heard people say why their fighting in another country is protecting our freedom. Our freedom is protect by their fighting against tyranny. Fighting for the freedom of all. But, it isn’t just the Armed Forces that give their all. It is their families too.

There are moms, dads, daughters, sons, etc… There are loved ones that give their loved ones to protect our rights. Our rights that so many people take for granted. The fact that you can vote, vote for who or what you want you can thank a service person for serving to uphold those rights. If it were not for those same people you would not have the right to talk bad about them. There are so many people that do.

These are the people that make our way of life possible. The thing about those service people and their families they don’t do it for recognition. They do it because it is their calling. Not everyone is called to service. Thank you to those that are. Without you and your families that share you we would not be who we are. 

Don't Forget It, You'll Regret It, Mother Knows Best......Tangled(Only in this case it was father...)

I learned a valuable lesson yesterday. My grandpa and my dad used to both say that a day wasn’t a success unless you learn something new. I used to laugh at that when I was younger. I couldn’t imagine that when you get older that there was anything left for you to learn. As I have gotten older I have realized that it isn’t true. I do learn a little something every day.

Yesterday I learned to not jump to conclusions. When we did the walkthrough in the rental house it was a mess. There were holes in the walls, stains on the carpeting, and more. I assumed that the owner became overwhelmed in repairs. There were so many projects that were half assed I figured that was what happened.

Rule number one my dad taught me was never assume anything. He broke it down for me as “if you assume something you make an ass out of u and me.” It is true. It seems that he was overwhelmed. His wife died and he was left with three children. He didn’t want anything connected to her. He left all the things that reminded everyone of her in the garage and he couldn’t bring himself to come back to make repairs.

So twice in one day I was left to feel guilty. I first felt guilty for wanting to do physical harm to another and then I felt guilty because I assumed erroneously that the owner was either to lazy or overwhelmed to fix everything. I am so sorry for that. I hope that the family is able to heal and possibly able to return home someday. 

I seen so many things I ain't never seen before Don't know what it is I don't wanna see no more....Thank you Three Dog Night

How healthy is the emotion anger? Is it healthy to get mad as hell? Is it healthy to be so angry that you want to commit an act of violence? I am truly guilty of having violent thoughts. This led me to feeling very guilty. I have to ask, should I feel guilty? I am not sure. I am a law abiding citizen and I never break the law. I do not understand the mentality of someone that does.

We are hardworking people, we are honest, we pay our taxes, and we help people as much as we can. I feel like such a victim and frankly violated. Our neighbor calls me today to let me know that he thinks someone is squatting in our shell of a house. The first thing I felt was red hot anger that someone could actually go that far.

I went by the house and got the license plate number of the strange car, plus a description of it. I was going to let it go because he had called the police. Then as Scotty pointed out I needed an incident number for our records. On Tuesday I am calling our insurance agent and telling him to get on the demolition. It has to come down. No more Mrs. Nice Guy. This is ridiculous. I think that the house has been violated enough.

I met with three officers at the house. At first we had a misunderstanding because one of the officers had been there this morning and he felt the house was unsafe to go into. I agreed whole heartedly. It is not safe at all, the house is gross. The three officers did go into the backyard and they are “logging” the car in. Whatever that means. I do know that one of the officers moved his car so that he was blocking the car in. Not bad deed goes unpunished.

My anger has receded and quite honestly the 25 minutes I spent waiting for the officers to arrive I was pretty scared. I don’t know what kind of person is in there. I was so relieved to see the officers arrive like the cavalry. Music sounded in my ears. Yes, I am still a bit angry but I am no longer afraid. They came and took care of us. J

The beat goes on, the beat goes on Drums keep pounding a rhythm to the brain La de da de de, la de da de da......Thank you Sonny and Cher

The morning of the fire we stood and watched it burn. It was hypnotic. We were caught and could not look away. I remember standing on the sidewalk across the street with Kacy while I could hear Kody in the backyard screaming that they were going to die. I remember hearing Loren screaming for Annabel. We thought the dogs were trapped in the house. I remember Scotty yelling at Loren to break his bedroom window. We thought the dogs were in the house. Scotty was pacing back and forth like a caged lion trying to figure out how to get them out.

George from next door was tearing fence boards off try to get them out. Only it was in an area that didn’t reach the backyard and it just wasn’t safe where he was. It was right off of the garage. I was yelling at Scotty to go into our neighbor Linda’s yard and break down their fence to get them out. He bruised his hand doing it. All this seemed to take hours to me. They got out and Loren had the dogs. Kody ran across the street and so did Loren and Scotty. My mom was slowly walking over. Loren ran back across the street and dragged her along. Twice that morning he took care of her.

About that time the first police officer showed up. As I said it felt like this was hours but it was mere moments. We stood watching black smoke pouring out of the house. I thought about the stupidest things while we were standing there. I worried about calling my niece and nephew because I didn’t want to wake them up. “Um hello our house is burning down. I just thought I would let you know.” Yeah not quite sure how the conversation went for sure. I don’t really remember. All I know is that I made the calls and they both were worried that there was a health issue. Thankfully it wasn’t that.

The first police officer that arrived put my mom in the backseat of his patrol car so that she was warm. He had the car running with the heater going full blast. He then had the unenviable job of having to evacuate the neighbors. Three houses each way. When he went around to street behind us to evacuate the ones behind us he went to Loren’s and my mom’s best friend’s house. She immediately wanted my mom to come over so she could take care of her. My mom wouldn’t leave.

It is unreal to sit here and relive this. I still want to cry over it, and I still won’t allow myself to cry. At least not around anyone. My nightmares are the things of horror stories. I close my eyes and I see things that are not real. Things that did not happen. The human mind is an interesting thing. It can show us things that scare us and it can show us things that amaze us. The dreams aren’t as long anymore and they are no longer all night. I think that being able to “talk” or write about it helps a lot. Thanks for being there for me, it mean so much more than you might ever know.

Hauling hazardous biological waste The light turns red you have no brakes And "Hard Copy" gets it all on tape So you can see the look on your face ......Thank you to The Bloodhound Gang

This post is going to be an angry post. This may not have my positive tilt towards things. Consider yourself forewarned. I have accepted things with grace since the fire. I have thanked the Lord, the firefighters, the Red Cross and hopefully everyone that has helped us in any little way. But this post I am going to address a different aspect.

This is to the pond scum out there. The jackasses that take advantage of a person when they are down. The creeps that have repeatedly broken into our burned out home and taken things. Yes, they are just things and they can all be replaced but the feeling of invasion is huge. It is at the point that no one feels safe about moving in. We are going to put in an alarm system while they are building the house.

They have been in so many times it hurts. Whenever anyone has gone to the house they notice something that is different. When does this stop? The house is a hazard. It is unhealthy it has been since the fire but now mold is growing from the moisture. Plus the fire damaged the upstairs bathroom so badly that black water is also in the house. I know I do not want anyone back in there.

When Scotty and Loren went back in a week ago it was to the point then that we decided that they would not go back in again until the rebuild begins. They found on the landing near where the front door should be all of Scotty’s tools packed into suitcases and bags. They were setting them up for their return trip. Kind of like their own layaway plans. These tools were deemed as a danger, that the heat made them unsafe. I called the insurance adjuster to ask her what to do. She said just leave it. We did.

We also found two hubcaps, the radio, and the side mirror from my 1965 Mustang hidden outside under the neighbor’s hedge. Scotty picked them up and threw them over the fence around the yard. We realize they will probably come back and get them, but we are not going to make it any easier for them. I hope they all never get rid of that awful smell of smoke. Not like me I know but frustration is a powerful drug. Peace out.

Misty water-colored memories Of the way we were Scattered pictures, Of the smiles we left behind Smiles we gave to one another.....Thank you Barbara Streisand

My mom has been getting really out of sorts lately. I understand in so many ways. This isn’t easy for any of us. Our lives have been turned upside down and inside out. Every time the house is looted we debate as to whether to tell her or not. I am always the voice of telling her. They don’t want to tell her because they don’t want to tell her but honestly I know that like me she would rather be told. Sometimes we try to protect a person but we end up hurting them instead.

She was starting to get really depressed. Especially since I have had to tell her that she is losing her beloved piano. She has had it since she was a child. It was built in 1906, it was a family heirloom. I knew she wouldn’t take that loss well so I contacted Trisha who is handling restoring the less than 15% of our belongings that they were able to rescue from our home. I had her bring the suitcases full of photos that my mom has kept over the years. Including her parents wedding photos.

Yesterday we sat down and went down memory lane. We looked at photos of her family, my dad’s family, my parents, my sister’s family, and my family. It was a great trip down memory lane. We had so much fun looking at them. I invited my niece Stephanie over because I knew she would want to join us on this journey. She was able to see photos of her mom as a child and that was really nice for her as my sister passed away in 2011.

My kids got to see those awkward photos of me as a kid. It wasn’t pretty. Lol! We spent a lot of time oohing and awing over these treasures. My mom’s mood really improved. This is exactly the medicine she needed. That we all needed. I was able to laugh over awkward photos of myself and everyone else. We saw photos of my grandparents on my dad’s side when they were young with her sitting on his lap. Really cute stuff. This was just what we needed. I used to get so angry with my mom because she had these suitcases of photos that she did nothing with. Now I am glad that she did. We still have two suitcase to go through. Won’t that be fun?

Heard the singers playin', how we cheered for more. The crowd had rushed together tryin' to keep warm. Still the rain kept pourin', fallin' on my ears And I wonder, still I wonder who'll stop the rain. Thank you, John Fogerty

I have spent so much time feeling sorry for myself that I have almost forgot that the rest of the world has problems too. The tornadoes in Oklahoma are horrendous. I sat yesterday looking at the pictures crying. These people lost everything. As Chris Cuomo tweeted yesterday his concern on where all the people would be able to sleep tonight. All of theirs friends lost their homes too.

Our loss was huge to us but it was not nearly as huge as this. These families lost their homes, theirs school, and their places of worship to name a few. The children lost their safe places. The places that they knew they could go to and be secure. These places are important to kids. My heart breaks for them. I cannot even imagine to feel their pain.

I saw photos that tore me up emotionally. I feel spent. I saw a photo of a man holding a child that was not obviously not his. He was hugging him and the look of raw emotion of his face said it all. I sat and cried as I saw it. To me this was one of those photos that stay with you for life. There are other photos like this for me. Growing up near Travis AFB in northern California we saw a lot of photos during the Viet Nam war and after.

The photos of former prisoners of war kissing the ground when they landed. Photos of kids running with looks of love on their faces running to their dads as they came off of the planes. These were the photos of my childhood memories. I still tear up. In life there are these moments. I see them now in the photos of the families in Oklahoma. There are other photos through life but these are the ones I thought of.

I want to leave you with a happy ending to ponder. I saw a video earlier of a faceless reporter talking to an elderly person and peering into her life. The lady was explaining that she had been sitting on a stool holding her beloved dog in her lap. When the tornado hit the stool was lifted in the air. Her house blew apart and she was buried under the debris. She was talking about how she laid there for a while until it was light and she realized that she would be okay. That she was back at the house to try and find her dogs body. The reporter spotted her dog. Her dog had survived the tornado and being buried in the rubble. It was alive. The lady started to cry. She said that the Lord had answered two prayers for her. She had prayed that she would live and she had prayed that the Lord spare her dog.

You say "Yes", I say "No". You say "Stop" and I say "Go, go, go". Oh no.

How do you fire someone? Do you say “gee I’m sorry but you just don’t do it for me?” Or “go away you bother me?” I have never had to do this before. Or should I say I have never had this opportunity before? Now I am face with doing that. When we whittled it down to 2 I just told him that I would call him. I mean the guy was calling me all the time.

I don’t want to cross the line. I want to sound strong and intelligent. But inside I am still that little girl. I am afraid that he won’t take no for an answer. I also worry about that fine line between lady/woman and bitch. In most things I am not worried about coming across as bitchy but you know this is business. I am woman hear me roar!! But, is there that line that you cross or am I caught in the past? Am I silly because I considered sending a thank you card and writing in their thanks but no thanks?

No, I will pull up my big girl panties and call him while I am out. Why am I calling while I am out you ask? Because this house is the black hole of Calcutta. There are only a few places that I get a signal to call out. I can text because of the Wi-Fi but no talking on the phone. Wish me luck! I will add that part when I get back!

Oh friends you would be proud. I called him and told him. He asked me why, I was nice. I didn’t tell him that I didn’t like him. I didn’t tell him it was because I didn’t like the fact that he played grabby on my leg. I am not a fan of that. No, I took the high road. I told him that we appreciated his bid but we decided to go another way. That it was a group decision. It was.

Our contractor we chose is a very nice family man. He owns the company and it is a big enough company that his company has been featured on HGTV’s show Curb Appeal more than once. The ideas for the house are great. We are going to make the master bedroom and the master bath accessible for a wheel chair. This is because my mom is not getting any younger and I want to make sure that she can have that.

Next time I think I may bore you with some plans. J

It's ticking away with my sanity I've got too much time on my hands It's hard to believe such a calamity I've got too much time on my hands.....Thank you STYX.

Too much……too much……too freaking much…..Togetherness is generally a good thing but like all good things there is a saturation point. Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t mean that you love the person any less it just means that you need some me time. Time to be away. It’s not that I don’t love you but get the heck away from me feelings.

That is me today. I need to lock myself in my room and not answer the door. I need time to be by myself. I am starting to lose my writers block and I started to work on my book again. I was typing along at a real tear and my mother has decided that she wants to talk to me about the TV line up for Wednesday night. First off I don’t care about it, I might on Wednesday but today is Sunday. Secondly I am typing, I know you can hear the keys on the keyboard because you are right next to me. Oh wait you are deaf.

Yes, friends I am bitchy today. There I said it. It’s true. Those of you that really know are sitting there thinking “today?” As if it is any different. I sat here and said I don’t care yet she continues to yammer on. Then she requires a reply from me. How can I reply? I wasn’t listening because as I stated before I don’t care. So I get to sit and listen to it again. It took me three times to catch what she was trying to tell me and guess what? I still didn’t care.

No matter how much you love someone they can get on your nerves. Goodness knows I do. Some days I take great joy in it. Yes that’s right. I try. Lord help to find the patience to get along. I have dealt with all of the bad moods and tantrums from every one. Frankly I have done it with grace, and now I am ready to have one of my own. I think it is time for me to play hide and seek. I am going to lock my door and hide all of the keys. Good day friends!

Somewhere in the shade near the sound of a sweet singin’ river Somewhere in the sun where the mountains make love to the sky Somewhere to build me a faith, a farm and a family Somewhere to grow older, and somewhere a reason to try.....Thank you John Denver

Let’s talk house. The rental house 3,000 square feet. We left two hotel suites that weren’t more than 1,000 between them. We were in our home which was 2,000 square feet full of our things. The things that were our lives. I never really thought about how possessions are such a huge part of your life. I am not talking about fancy things. More like the wind chimes that I have collected over the years. Like the one I picked up in Adventureland in Disneyland because I fell in love with the coconut and bamboo sound.

I had so many wind chimes, I would pick them for different reasons. Some I bought because the colors attracted me. Ooh shiny. Most were because I loved the sound. Our house had an “L” shape to it in the front yard. We had a court yard out there and I had wind chimes that lined it. On a windy day it was musical in our yard. You could lay in bed and hear the music of the wind chimes. Oh and I was creative. I would say I was buying them for my mom. I know Scotty has always known who they were for.

Then we have the garden statues. I had a Minnie Mouse, she was so cute and bright. I had frogs, and toads. It all started when my mother in law Karen got me a toad house for Christmas one year. I don’t think she realized what she started. I became obsessed with having them. Anytime I would see different ones that would mix in well I would get them. We had several little creatures. Some may be saved but I know toads and frogs won’t be. When I saw the garden where I kept them I know they did not survive.

I could go on and on. But, I know I shouldn’t so I won’t. We are going to go with the positive. I have a hanging primrose plant and another planter of flowers on the front porch here and I have a bamboo wind chime. No it isn’t like the one I got in Disneyland, but it shouldn’t be. It is new and deserves to be its own wind chime. I will buy more. I have things now that I did not have that I have now are some house plants that Kacy bought me for Mother’s Day. They are lovely.

I also have a mantle here. We didn’t have one in our house, and I became obsessed with decorating it. That became my have to do thing. I hit the thrift shops and antique stores. It all started with an Asian Junk ship in a bottle. I paid all of $1.99 for it but it is my treasure, I also bought a tea set. It has an Asian feel to it also. I then got a carving of 3 elephants that I am giving to Kacy’s friend Jenn. I fully intended that it be for her because she loves elephants. I then visited Goodwill, the first day I didn’t find anything but I took Kacy the next day and I found a couple of small vases that fit in with it all. My prize in the setting is my couple. It is a couple sitting on a bench that completes my mantle. I am going to get one other thing. There was another couple that I saw that I want. That is for next month.

I need to get a lawn chair or something along those line for our bedroom. We have such a big room but no place to put my stuffed animals or dolls that Kacy gave me for my birthday or the Duffy that Danielle gave me. I am not going to put them on the floor, the carpet may have been cleaned but to me it is still gross. At least too gross for my babies.

My next project now is to go out and get light bulbs. There are so many light fixtures with one or more light bulbs out and it drives me freaking nuts. Wednesday we are supposed to get living room furniture. Thankfully. I am sick of the front of the house echoing. It drives me nuts. I also great another night stand and a second lamp for my dark bedroom.

Oh and if you’re wondering about my Mother’s Day from Scotty and the other kids. Annabel Lee got surgery on her foot. Her health is all the gift I want.

The touch, the feel the fabric of our lives The touch, the feel of cotton The fabric of my life Thank you Zooey Deschanel

These are the times of our lives…..or are they? We finally moved into a house. Dance and shout let’s get it out. Okay now we talk about what’s what. I love the house it is in a great location and it has more cupboard and closet space than I have ever seen in a house. It has stone tile that is beautiful on the bottom floor and hardwood floor in the entry.

It is huge, trust me I Swiffer mopped it this morning. It has vaulted ceilings in the living room. Unfortunately the only furniture we have in there is a TV stand, a TV and Loren’s Xbox. Because the furniture company did not deliver that. It will be here on Wednesday. Oh and that beautiful stone tile it isn’t as beautiful once your phone falls and your screen cracks into a spider webbed disaster. :’( But yay for an amazing insurance for cell phones from Asurion I had a replacement in a little over 12 hours. But no service because this house has major blind spots for cell phones. All not near plugs.

But, it has a beautiful kitchen with cupboards, oh so many cupboards. Thank you to the amazing Brandon from Travelers Haven. We have a furnished house. There are queen sized beds in the kids and my mom’s rooms and a king size one in Scotty’s and my room. They have night stands and dressers. Unfortunately in our room we only one night stand. Obviously there is a flaw in the plan there. By the time the living room has furniture, we get our second night stand, lamp plus our washer and dryer it will be amazing right?

I mean they provided all of the housewares, I mean all of it!! Brandon is one kickass guy, he told me he is like my concierge. Well he is!! Today we are getting our internet and cable. Have I mentioned that Brandon rocks? Well he does. But…..and here is the big but. When we walked through the house the first time there were things that we noticed that needed to be fixed. The owner was supposed to come in last weekend to fix it all

Yesterday, I get here with our first load and to do the walk. I was full of hope, I was told the owner had fixed the holes in the walls, touched up the paint. Fixed the two showers upstairs and the bath in the spare bath. But, alas no he had not visited and oh the joys and surprises the three car garage is full of their things. Seriously? This is what the insurance company is paying for?

I put down every little freaking thing on paper and we documented everything with photos. So the owner is supposed to come in on Saturday and fix every little thing. Including the fence. Sigh. :/ But I love this house, for all of the warts and bumps because you know what? We are together, and today one month after the fire we have each other, the dogs are able to run in a big backyard. For all of the not so great things I am happy here. I am sitting at the dining room table on my laptop feeling the breeze blow through my windows around me. There are windows behind me and next to me. There is a beautiful breeze blowing and I am a happy camper.

Who can be unhappy when they have a home and place to lay their head next to love of their lives? Who can be unhappy when they know that downstairs their mom is alive and well? Who can be unhappy when they can hear their kids, whether they are arguing or getting along? Who can be unhappy when they see their dogs romping in the yard or laying under a shade tree with their tongues hanging out with a doggy smile on their faces? Who can be unhappy watching a peacock walk across their front yard? It’s not the turkeys we normally have at home but I’ll take it.

Hey Macklemore, can we go thrift shopping? What, what, what, what... Oh! Oh! I'm gonna pop some tags Only got twenty dollars in my pocket I-I-I'm huntin' Lookin for a come up.......(thank you Kelly for the suggestion

One of the things about moving into a rental house that has concerned me is needing things to make it into a home. The little dust collectors, the things that remind you that you live there. I have always had books and things like that. Those are the things that make my house a home. I decided that it was time to go get some.

The only place to go to get some knick knacks and bric a bracs was to the thrift shop. You mention thrift shop and Kody is ready to go! Good thing because that was where we were going. While we were at Velo Wrench Bicycle Shop in Vacaville, CA Kody and I visited the thrift store two doors down. What a treasure it was to find.

It is a little tiny little shop but what she does with her little space is amazing!! Also she knows a sucker when she sees one. I mean that in the nicest way. There was this little tea set that I was enamored with. I was not willing to pay $9 for it. Cheapskate aren’t I? She lowered the price to $6. Now that I would pay. I have just the place to put it. There is an island in the middle of the kitchen that is just perfect for it. I found other treasures that screamed at me and I got them. More on that later.

Kody found treasures for herself. She found a Winnie the Pooh dressed up as a lucky cat. This is a big deal for her, she loves Pooh bear and she loves lucky cats. She also found a Humpty Dumpty tea pot without a lid that she can put flowers in. There were several things that she found that she liked I wouldn’t get. At least not yet, kind of glad that I didn’t because we have managed to get so much stuff to move.

Where did it all come from? Well there were those few things that we got at the next thrift store. Honestly here just a few more things. ;) On Friday or Saturday I don’t remember which day we hit the local antique mall. Oy! I fell in love with this little ceramic Asian couple and had to have them. But, the biggest treasure was what Kacy found. She found a Fantasia snow globe. That was her favorite movie when she was a little girl. She wore that video tape out, and as soon as it came out on DVD we got it for her. It was lost in the fire.

We will go back. I didn’t managed to see it all. Also Kody found a desk from the 1970’s that she thought was amazing. Kacy found several pieces she wanted including a metal vase. It seems that Kacy’s decade for treasures in the 1950’s. Ironically the last decade she would want to be from. It’s funny how life is that way. To me the biggest treasure that I found at the antique store was a Carter/Mondale button pin that I found for Scotty.

The point of all this? Tomorrow, yes tomorrow when we move into the rental house I can make it into a home. I can hardly wait. No matter how nice the staff is here at the Staybridge Suites I will be glad to move. Oh yes I will. We all will!!

But there's one thing I know The blues they send to meet me won't defeat me It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me Raindrops keep fallin' on my head.....Thank you BJ Thomas

If you ever wondered what one thing might make staying in a hotel room with two dogs even more fun….it’s pouring down rain. I am sitting here at my laptop typing and looking out the window at pouring down rain. And of course guess what? They both needed to go to the bathroom. Badly. Thankfully they are now taking a nap.

I never really thought much about it but dogs resemble both toddlers and teenagers. It all depends on the time of day and the mood they are in. Right now they are napping so it is toddler time, the nice part of toddler time. They both are quiet and just resting. This is the nice time of day. I look forward to it. It also hits for Annabel at bedtime. She will look at anyone still in the living room and just whine like a baby.

Rain also poses another problem for some of us. Loren only has shorts, while Kody, my mom and I have no closed in shoes. Kacy has closed in shoes but they are Chucks so they are canvas. And sadly my beloved Mickey Mouse poncho died a sad death. Sigh. So did my rain jacket. No we all go through life with hoodies that offer little or no resistance to the rain. Oh the fun, oh the thrills. We go from the 90’s last week to rain today. Then I read on twitter that we had a lightning strike here in town. :/

I remember back in the good old days all I needed was a box of different colors of Playdough, plastic rolling pins, plastic silverware, plastic scissors and cookie cutters to make hours of fun. Which reminds me we had a new box of 12 colors of Playdough at the house. Sigh. But, I can smile with memories of the laughing times that were had by all while the Playdough was out.

Another fun rainy day activity the kids would sit in the living room and watch every Christmas video or DVD that they could find. It didn’t matter what time of year it was it was a fun activity. I still know every word to Disneyland Sing Along Songs. They wore that tape out, I recently bought the DVD. “We’re walking right down the middle of Main Street USA…..” Yeah. No blues are going to defeat me, especially not with these memories. 

This hotel room got a lot of stuff A laundry bag and a shoe shine cloth Thirty-two hangers and a touch-tone phone Well a light that comes on when I'm not home I ain't home, I ain't home You better leave a message cause I ain't home......Borrowed from Jimmy Buffett's song "This Hotel Room"

This hotel life has its ups and its downs. For the dogs it has been especially rough. At home they can come and they can go. Here they cannot. They get to walk to go to the bathroom. They have two wonderful trips to the dog park and they got to go bye bye to pick daddy up from work. The majority of their time is spent in their crates, the poor things.

Annabel has a wart that has to be removed and the vet wants her to have a cone. The dreaded cone of shame. So this too will wait. Just another thing to go the never ending wait list. Roy is like a caged lion he is constantly pacing, he paces whether he is in his crate or wandering the room. I feel so deeply for our babies.

The girls are going crazy being constantly feeling like they are being judged by all of the guests that stare at them. Look at the tattooed girls…Midwestern people. What can I say? If the kid’s keys need to be re-magnetized they say, “again?” I end up being the one to visit the desk if anyone needs a key or anything. I want just once want someone else to visit the desk for themselves or for me. Forgive me while I whine.

But Loren has bent over backwards to do things for me. If I don’t eat he will ask if he can fix me something. With Scotty and I having our birthdays the last few days we have had cupcakes and ice cream here. He got me a bowl of ice cream and there was none left for him. I tried to convince him that I didn’t want it that he should have it. He wouldn’t take it until I told him that I told him he would be doing me a favor to take it.

The girls have it hard, not only are they in a separate room from us but it is down the hall. We have had this traumatic event in our lives and they have had to be alone. I cannot imagine night time when it gets dark and we are not as close as we might be at home. What brave grown ups they have become. It isn’t easy I am sure. We are out and away from town so that isn’t easy for any friends to visit. Thankfully they have their cell phones and computers to use.

This will be Michele’s whiny post. My mom has really started to show the stress. I can hardly wait until we get into a house. It will be much better for her. Have I mentioned what a hike it is to do laundry? My mom doesn’t like to walk that far, especially since it takes 3 hours to dry a load of clothes. I brought my clean clothes back wet to hang up in our bathroom. When questioned why I didn’t dry them in the dryer I replied why when I can hang them up and they will dry just as fast that way. I can hardly wait until I have a washer and dryer in the house to use. What a thrill that will be!!

Welcome to my nightmare I think you're gonna like it! I think you're gonna feel you belong! We sweat and laugh and scream here! 'Cause life is just a dream here! Thank you Alice Cooper for your lyrics.

It’s 1:03 am and I wake up in a cold sweat. I have had another dream. They aren’t always the same and they aren’t all scary but they are regular. I am like clockwork, if it is dark I am awake from a dream I have had. I think it is normal, we all have those moments in life that trigger them. Mine was jarring for me, I never thought I would come close to dying not once, especially not twice.

The first time was health issues and beyond my control. Well I would like to think so but I was in complete control of that to a certain point. I don’t talk about that time in my life to anyone. No one knows the whole story except maybe family members. I went in the hospital on April 4, 2007 and I woke up on April 28, 2007. I remember explaining my pain level to the triage nurse in the ER and the next I vaguely I remember is talking to my husband and he was explaining that they were moving me to ICU. Then it was April 28 and I was paralyzed on my right side. More on this another time.

The next near death was April 9, 2013. I walked down the stairs after being told by Kacy that there was a fire in our garage I was convinced that someone was overreacting. That Scotty and I would come downstairs and be able to turn the hose on and put out the fire. It wasn’t that easy not by far. No one overreacted, it was out of our control. We were set on a path. Destiny is written in stone.

April 9^th I laid my head on a pillow and I could not sleep. The visions I saw when I closed my eyes were the things of things too scary to give words to. Anyone who knows me will tell you I am never without words to say. I started down the road of sleeping one or two hours a night and trying to exist. Not a great plan, unless you want to be so tired that you could sleep on your feet. I sat at lunch with my best friend and I am not sure what I even ate to tell you the truth and food is something I love.

Then the sleep started coming but I am awake every morning at 4 am. I wonder now if I will ever sleep past that time again. I am getting enough sleep to exist now and my memory is better. Thank goodness. Last night I saw my death in a dream. Frankly it scared me more than I can express to you. But what scared me the most was it wasn’t just my death I witnessed. I saw someone I love die. I heard myself screaming as I watched this person die. As I died in my dream I woke up. I could not sleep again for hours. I lay there in bed hugging a Duffy I got as a birthday present just yesterday. I didn’t want to wake Scotty because I didn’t want to have to tell him about my dream. I couldn’t it was too raw. It still is.

My wish is that tonight I dream of Disneyland and Mickey Mouse. Or of how I want to decorate the house when it is done. Boy do I have ideas about that. I am torn on our bathroom. I am torn between a villain or a Little Mermaid themed bathroom. Either one could be a lot of fun!! No matter what I dream I can almost guarantee I will be awake around 4 am.

Can't you feel 'em circlin' honey? Can't you feel 'em swimmin' around? You got fins to the left, fins to the right, and you're the only bait in town....... plagiarizing Jimmy Buffett

When something like a fire hits and you have tragedy the sharks start to swim around you. Be they clean up people, facilitators, contactors, you name it. They all want to be your best friend. Worse yet they start striking when you are down. They love you down because they begin to think that they “have it all sewn up.” Guess what? Allow me to introduce myself, I am Michele. It is never all sewn up with me and I have a built in bullshit detector. I am your worst enemy.

They visit your neighbors, and try to convince them that you need them. That we are in desperate straits and that no one else can help us. “Can I please leave a card for them? They will thank you for this.” No, I will thank my neighbors for being more polite than I will ever be. If they didn’t learn that when I said don’t talk to me they never will never have a chance at getting my business. Don’t call me I’ll call you. Not!!

Then there are the ones that ingratiate themselves to you. Oh let me do this for you for a small charge. Let me board up your house, and put this lock on your house. Don’t worry we will bill your insurance company. Oh and by the way we will send you an envelope with this courtesy notice and it’s not because we hope that you are confused by the stress of everything going on and you pay us too. Seriously go to that really hot place and don’t expect ice cubes from me.

All too soon the meetings start for with contractors. They are supposed to come to these meetings with a type of estimate that really isn’t an estimate. Meeting number one and he tells us that he will do all these “extras” for us. Meeting number two they were late and all I got was a business card. No you don’t need my business. The third one was a lot like the first. He did that one used car salesman thing, he grasped my being a Disney fan. He and his family are huge Disney fans so I started testing his knowledge. He is, he knew things that only a true Disney fan would know.

Soon it is time for a slower dance. We will be meeting with two, it is time to get down to the nitty gritty. It is time to find out if they are willing to do the little things that we want and mean so much. The insurance company has started cutting checks. This is getting closer to the big time. And soon it will be one.