Saturday, May 4, 2013

Can't you feel 'em circlin' honey? Can't you feel 'em swimmin' around? You got fins to the left, fins to the right, and you're the only bait in town....... plagiarizing Jimmy Buffett

When something like a fire hits and you have tragedy the sharks start to swim around you. Be they clean up people, facilitators, contactors, you name it. They all want to be your best friend. Worse yet they start striking when you are down. They love you down because they begin to think that they “have it all sewn up.” Guess what? Allow me to introduce myself, I am Michele. It is never all sewn up with me and I have a built in bullshit detector. I am your worst enemy.

They visit your neighbors, and try to convince them that you need them. That we are in desperate straits and that no one else can help us. “Can I please leave a card for them? They will thank you for this.” No, I will thank my neighbors for being more polite than I will ever be. If they didn’t learn that when I said don’t talk to me they never will never have a chance at getting my business. Don’t call me I’ll call you. Not!!

Then there are the ones that ingratiate themselves to you. Oh let me do this for you for a small charge. Let me board up your house, and put this lock on your house. Don’t worry we will bill your insurance company. Oh and by the way we will send you an envelope with this courtesy notice and it’s not because we hope that you are confused by the stress of everything going on and you pay us too. Seriously go to that really hot place and don’t expect ice cubes from me.

All too soon the meetings start for with contractors. They are supposed to come to these meetings with a type of estimate that really isn’t an estimate. Meeting number one and he tells us that he will do all these “extras” for us. Meeting number two they were late and all I got was a business card. No you don’t need my business. The third one was a lot like the first. He did that one used car salesman thing, he grasped my being a Disney fan. He and his family are huge Disney fans so I started testing his knowledge. He is, he knew things that only a true Disney fan would know.

Soon it is time for a slower dance. We will be meeting with two, it is time to get down to the nitty gritty. It is time to find out if they are willing to do the little things that we want and mean so much. The insurance company has started cutting checks. This is getting closer to the big time. And soon it will be one.


  1. You get them girl. Don't take shit from anyone !! I know you are a good bullshit reader.

    So glad it is winding down and the rebuild process can start soon xoxoxo